How do you know if you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship? It isn’t always easy for a person to determine this on their own. One incident where your partner said something mean or hurtful doesn’t immediately result in that conclusion. Let me help you evaluate your situation so you can get unstuck.
Answer These Questions:
Does your partner…
- Criticize you?
- Insult you at home and in public?
- Make negative comments about your looks or clothing?
- Compare you negatively to past partners?
- Contradict you?
- Correct you?
Is it you or your partner who…
- Decides whether the two of you will accept an invitation?
- Controls the finances?
- Chooses what you watch on TV?
Now, let’s talk about you. Do you…
- Do things you don’t enjoy doing to avoid a fight or getting the silent treatment?
- Feel you can’t be yourself?
- Act in a certain way to please them?
- Watch your words?
- Break commitments when asked?
Are you becoming more isolated because your partner…
- Resents you spending time with others?
- Discourages new hobbies or interests?
- Gets annoyed if you spend too much time with family or friends?
Do you excuse their behavior by saying things such as…
- They miss you too much?
- They want to spend every minute with you?
- They’re going through a rough time and need you right now?
If you answered yes and the above statements resonate with you, then you could be in an emotionally abusive relationship. Here’s the thing: an emotionally abusive relationship is not an equal or real relationship to anyone but the abuser. An abusive partner truly believes that his or her needs, desires, and opinions are more important than their partner’s needs, desires, and beliefs.
You Can’t Make a Steak Out of Hamburger Meat
Defending and excusing your partner’s behavior, saying things like ‘nobody’s perfect’ and ‘it will get better’ keeps you from running from your own insecurity into a relationship that creates more uncertainty and instability for you.
3 Things to Know About Abusive Relationships
- An emotionally abusive relationship has an ongoing pattern of controlling behavior.
- An isolated incident doesn’t mean your relationship is abusive.
- One type of controlling behavior exhibited by your partner is not necessarily emotional abuse. (Although your head may explode on a regular basis).
What to do Next?
Don’t let the fear of being alone cause you to lose your perspective on love and accepting less than you deserve from your partner. Finding a good partner for a healthy relationship depends on your ability to recognize character strengths when you see them. Realize how critical those strengths are to a long-term relationship and apply them in your life.
Remember, staying in a dead-end and toxic relationship keeps you stuck and stops you from finding the right person.
Let’s talk about how you can get unstuck. Schedule a one-on-one chat so we can talk about how you can get unstuck. Don’t forget to follow along on Instagram and Facebook for daily inspiration.
You got this!