Is Comparing Yourself to Others So Bad?

Perfection and Social Media

Are you living life constantly comparing yourself to others?

We’ve all seen the posts on social media that seem too good to be true. Everyone seems to live perfect lives except you. The perfect lives of others can leave us feeling less than perfect.

Social comparison is not necessarily a problem. It may actually be a great motivator. For example, if you see friends living exciting and maybe even seemingly “perfect” lives, and you feel nothing but happy for them, and maybe want to make a few healthy adjustments in your own life to reach some similar goals, then social comparison could help you, and should not be seen as a negative.

When is Social Comparison a Problem?

Comparing yourself to others solely for the sake of comparison is an issue.

When you…

  • Refer to others’ lives as standards to mold your life, that’s an issue.
  • Change yourself just to conform to what others are doing, that’s definitely an issue.
  • Expect people around you to behave in ways others do, without regard for their individual personalities, you’ve gone too far.
  • Constantly play the ‘Compare and Despair’ game to the point of feeling like you haven’t done anything with your life.

That’s when social comparison is a problem.

How to Get Unstuck and Break Free from the Comparison Game

Here’s the thing: You get unstuck from the comparison game by knowing when comparing yourself is a benefit, and when it’s not.

Here’s how comparison plays out: An apple and an orange for example, why would you want to compare them? There’s no benefit. An apple is an apple and an orange is an orange.

And the same is true for you. You are different from everyone else. You’re unique in your own way.

Trying to draw comparisons between you, your life, your friends, your family, your partner, your kids even, with everyone else’s, is pointless.

Sure, you might get some insights here and there, but ultimately there is little point in trying to draw comparisons between them.

Remember, know yourself and what you stand for. Recognize everyone’s life is unique. Focus on being the best version of yourself. Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday.

Feeling Worthy Always Begins and Ends with You

Giving love to others directly relates to how much love you have for yourself. By feeling that you are valuable, worthy, and beautiful (inside and out), you won’t have to rely on others for your self-worth. Do you know that you can challenge all of “I am’s” in you by your ability to love who you are?

Self-hatred and beating yourself is never the solution and always results in an adverse outcome—even if you acted foolishly, misbehaved, or hurt someone you love. Instead of diminishing your self-worth, learn to develop deep positive feelings by resolving not to repeat the same behavior.

And most importantly, never, in any way, associate how you acted with how you measure your value as a person. Your self-worth is a given, so own it!

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